Lists and Calendars

I try my best to stay organized. I write things down in my notebook, add them to my various calendars (both online and physical ones), I almost obsessively try to keep track of everything going on in my life. I write little blurbs about how I felt that day, how my mood and how my depression was, as well as just keep a journal to sort out feelings. I always do pretty well about this at the beginning of the year. I carry my bullet journal and my planner around with me almost everywhere, I have my phone if I don’t have either of those.

But still, by the time Late March/Early April comes around, I almost always abandon it. I think a lot of that has to do with how I feel in the Springtime as well as still grieving and dealing with my own emotions. That time of year is when my life has always seemed to turn upside down. This year though, I’m sticking through it. No matter what, no matter how I feel, I have to keep moving forward. This year will be different.

It’s already different in a few different ways, I’m coping with my mental illnesses. I’m trying to do more than just survive. I know my limitations and I’m not as afraid to ask for help as I once was. And sometimes all it takes is that little shift of perspective. From being so focused on what is wrong, to seeing that I can still do things it just takes me a little longer with some modifications but it still gets done.

There’s still a long way for me to go this year in terms of a lot of things. At 10 days in though, I’m more positive than I have been in so long. Things are looking up, I just can’t let myself get bogged down in the small things that go wrong, because the slightly larger thing is just around the corner.

 

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