These dreams keep coming back…only they’re starting to get worse. I’m almost always afraid to go to sleep because I know the dreams will happen. Nothing I’ve tried has helped to drive it away. Calming teas, meditation, even staying up so I’m so exhausted…none of it has worked so far.
Dreams have morphed a little from last time I wrote about them. There’s still no ending to them. There’s just a lot more confusion. A lot more being lost in caves. More conversation too, but I never remember what was talked about. I can remember the scenery, the time of day, the way dream me felt but not the important thing. It’s disheartening.
I’ve only been getting an hour or two at a time of sleep. I wake up confused and afraid. I can’t catch my breath sometimes afterwards. I know my subconscious is trying to tell me something, I just don’t know what the hell that is.
So I sit here awake, into the early morning hours. Watching and waiting as the world passes me by. Waiting for sleep to take control and the nightmares to come. I just want a few days of reprieve. Just to get a solid 4 hours of sleep without being startled awake before this drives me crazy.
Kindness is one of the few gifts anyone can give without ever having to struggle to repay. It’s something we should all be giving a little more freely in times like these.