Sometimes I try to take on more than I know I can handle. I know I multi-task well. But not well enough it’d seem. I’ve been watching a show on Netflix with a friend, I was listening to it tonight while I played a video game and chatted with someone else. I was doing my best to split my attention but I missed some bigger moments of the show. Which sucks, but I was ok with that. My friend never expressed that he wanted me to have my undivided attention there, or even just focused on spending time with them. Instead, I was left feeling hurt because I unintentionally hurt them by not paying as much attention as I should have.
I’m human. I make mistakes, but is it so wrong to expect some of these things to be communicated to me? If someone wants to spend time with me and have my undivided attention shouldn’t I know that instead of just assuming it? So instead I end the day feeling defeated. Knowing I once again let someone down, by not thinking of everyone else’s feelings instead of just my own.
I’ve also apparently said things I don’t remember that I’m doing too now. I can’t make up for the fact that I don’t remember saying those things with that intent, but now I know not to say anything even if I’m worried. It’s not my place and I need to relearn that.
So I once again batten down the hatches and wait for this part of the storm to pass. It’s the first bump like this in a while, and hopefully, it’ll be the only one. Be kind to yourself and others. It’s something small that we can all do that creates a lasting impact.